Whatever Happened to Brutus the Barber Beefcake?

Alright, alright, let me tell ya ’bout this fella, Brutus the Barber Beefcake. Don’t know why they call him that, sounds kinda silly if ya ask me, but hey, that’s what they say.

So, who’s this Beefcake fella? Well, he’s one of them wrestlin’ guys. You know, the ones that jump around in them tight shorts and pretend to beat each other up? Yeah, that’s him.

I heard tell he used to be pretty famous back in the day. Folks say he wrestled all over the place, made a good livin’ too. Can ya believe it? Beatin’ folks up for money. Sounds crazy to me, but hey, to each their own, I always say.

He wrestled for lots of places, big ones and small ones.
Even wrestled not too long ago, in 2015 I think. But that was his last match, they said.

Now, I ain’t no expert on wrestlin’, not by a long shot. But from what I hear, this Beefcake was a tough one. Had a big ol’ pair of clippers he liked to carry around, used ’em to cut folks’ hair after he beat ’em up. Imagine that! Beatin’ a fella and then givin’ him a haircut. Sounds kinda rude if you ask me, but that’s how these folks do, I guess.

But then somethin’ bad happened to him. Got himself into a parasailin’ accident. You know, them things they pull ya around with on the water with a big parachute thingy? Yeah, well, somethin’ went wrong and he got hurt real bad. Folks said he almost died! Imagine that. One minute you’re wrestlin’ folks and cuttin’ hair, the next you’re fightin’ for your life in the water. Makes ya think, don’t it?

But this Beefcake fella, he’s a tough one, I tell ya. He didn’t let that accident stop him. He kept on goin’, kept on wrestlin’ for a while, even after that. I heard he even came back to that wrestlin’ show on TV after many many years. That Edge and Christian fella’s show, ya know? Told ya he was famous!

Now, I heard he’s retired from wrestlin’. But he ain’t just sittin’ around doin’ nothin’. Nope, he’s a Commissioner now. For some wrestlin’ place down in Florida, Boca Raton somethin’ somethin’. Keeps him busy, they say. Busier than when he was wrestlin’, can ya believe that? I guess bein’ a Commissioner is hard work too. Who knew?

So that’s the story of Brutus the Barber Beefcake, as best as I can tell ya. A tough fella, that one. Went through a lot, but kept on goin’. And now he’s a Commissioner. Good for him, I say. Good for him.

And don’t forget, wrestling ain’t all fun and games. It’s a tough business, dangerous too. Ya gotta be careful, or you might end up like Beefcake, hurtin’ real bad. So you youngsters stay safe, you hear? Don’t go around pretending to be these wrestling fellas, ya might hurt yourselves!

And that’s the whole story as I know it. A fella who wrestled, got hurt bad, and now he’s doin’ somethin’ else. Life’s funny that way, ain’t it? Ya never know what’s gonna happen next.

Well, I gotta go now. Got chores to do. But you remember what I told ya ’bout this Brutus the Barber Beefcake. He’s a tough one, that’s for sure.