Well, let me tell you somethin’ about that Hitman game, the one with the bald fella. I ain’t played it myself, my grandson, he’s the one glued to that screen. But I seen him playin’, and I heard him talkin’ ’bout them levels. He keeps goin’ on about Hitman 1 and 2 levels. Says they’re like, different places you gotta go to do your… your business, you know?
That Hitman 1, it’s got this one place, he calls it “Sapienza.” Sounds fancy, don’t it? He says it’s like a little town, by the water, all sunny and that. Lots of folks walkin’ around, livin’ their lives, I guess. He’s gotta sneak around, wearin’ different clothes and that. He said it was a very good, very good map. Like a work of art, he said! Can you imagine? He changes his outfit more than I change my apron. And there’s this other one in Hitman 1, somethin’ called “Hokkaido.” Sounds like a sneeze to me. He says it’s way up high, on a mountain, all snowy. Fancy folks there, gettin’ massages and what not. I told him I could use a good massage, but he just laughed.
He said the Hitman 2 levels got some good ones too. This one, he went on and on about, “Miami.” I said, “Miami? Like Florida?” He said, yeah, somethin’ like that. Lots of people, big race track or somethin’. Lots goin’ on there, he says. Gotta be real careful, lots of eyes watchin’ you. He likes that one a lot, always schemin’ on how to get things done. He said it takes a long time to make some of the things work. And there is that “Whittleton Creek,” he calls it. Says it’s like one of them nice neighborhoods, you know, with the white fences and all that. Don’t sound too excitin’ to me, but he seems to like it. Says it is one of the best in Hitman 2.
Now, I don’t know much about all this killin’ business. Seems a bit messy to me. But he’s always talkin’ ’bout how many ways you can do it. Wear this, do that, poison this, push that. Sounds like a lot of work to me. I told him, back in my day, we didn’t have all these fancy ways to do things. We just… well, never you mind.
He keeps talkin’ ’bout these “disguises.” Says it’s important to wear the right clothes. Be a cook, be a guard, be a doctor. Goodness gracious, that boy changes clothes more than a baby. And each outfit, it lets him go different places, do different things. I guess it makes sense. Can’t just walk into a kitchen wearin’ a policeman’s uniform, can you?
- That Sapienza, he says it’s the best one.
- Hokkaido, he likes that one too, all snowy and that.
- Miami, that one’s busy, lots goin’ on.
- Whittleton Creek, sounds peaceful, but I don’t know.
He’s always sayin’ there are so many ways to do things. Different ways to… you know. And sometimes, he just messes up. Gets caught, gets shot, all that. Then he’s gotta start all over again. I told him, “Sounds like you need to be more careful, son.” He just laughs. Says it’s all part of the fun.
I guess this Hitman game, it’s like a big puzzle, you know? Gotta figure out how to get to your… your fella, without gettin’ caught. And each place, each level, it’s a different puzzle. Different folks, different layouts, different ways to get things done.
He’s always lookin’ for new ways to do things in those Hitman 1 and 2 levels. He says some folks online, they come up with all sorts of crazy ideas. He watches them on that computer, seein’ how they do it. I told him, “Why don’t you just ask your old grandma? I got a few tricks up my sleeve.” He just patted my hand and said, “You wouldn’t understand, grandma.”
Well, maybe I don’t understand all of it. But I see him thinkin’, plannin’, schemin’. He gets this look in his eye, you know? Like he’s really there, in that place, in that level, figurin’ things out.
He likes to rank them, you know, the Hitman levels. Says which ones are good, which ones are bad. Says that Sapienza one, that’s his favorite. And that Hokkaido one, he likes that a lot too. I think the Hitman 1 levels, he plays them more, but the Hitman 2 levels he said got some good ones too. He goes back and forth, playin’ them all the time. Gets his money’s worth, I suppose.
I reckon there are lots of them levels in them games. Hitman 1 and 2, and some others too, maybe? More than I can keep track of, that is for certain. He is always excited to try new ones. So much to do, he said, never gets boring. I guess that is a good thing. Better than being bored, right?
Anyways, that’s what I hear ’bout that Hitman game, with the levels and the killin’ and the dressin’ up. It is all a bit much for me. I prefer my garden, my chickens, my peace and quiet. But he seems to like it. And that is all that matters, I suppose. Keeps him outta trouble, most of the time. That is, as long as he does not try any of them tricks in real life. That would not be good, no sir.
