Alright, listen up, y’all. We gotta figure out this football stuff, this… whatchamacallit… Mixon or Gibbs thing. My grandson, he’s always yellin’ about it, so I figured I’d try and make some sense of it for ya.
Now, I don’t know nothin’ ’bout these fancy football games, but from what I gather, it’s like pickin’ between two horses at the county fair. You gotta choose the one that’s gonna run faster and get you that blue ribbon, or, in this case, them points.
First off, we got this Joe Mixon fella. Sounds like a sturdy name, like he could plow a field all day. They say he used to be the main man, the one carryin’ the ball all the time. Like that mule we had back in the day, always haulin’ the heavy stuff. But now, things might be changin’, see? He might not be gettin’ all the work he used to.
Then there’s this Jahmyr Gibbs young’un. Sounds kinda quick, like a rabbit in the garden. Folks are sayin’ he’s been scorin’ touchdowns, eight times in eleven games they say. That’s like hittin’ the bullseye at the target practice every time, pretty darn good. He’s probably one of them fancy new tractors, all shiny and fast.
So, how do you choose? Well, it ain’t easy, that’s for sure. It’s like decidin’ whether to plant corn or beans, depends on the weather and the soil, you know? You gotta look at the stats, they say. That’s like checkin’ the almanac to see when the best time to plant is. They got all these numbers, like how many yards they run and how many touchdowns they score. It’s all a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me, but it tells you who’s been doin’ better lately.
- Mixon might be the steady one, like that old oak tree in the pasture. You know what you’re gonna get with him.
- Gibbs, he’s the flashy one, like that new weathervane on the barn, might be more excitin’, but also a bit more risky.
And then there’s this “fantasy football” thing. It’s like pretendin’ you own a farm, but instead of cows and chickens, you got these football players. And you gotta pick the best ones so you can win bragging rights at the feed store. My grandson, he’s always fussin’ over it, checkin’ his phone like it’s gonna lay an egg or somethin’.
Now, they got these “experts” who give advice, like them fellas who come ’round sellin’ snake oil. They say who you should start, but sometimes they’re wrong, just like the weatherman. You gotta use your own common sense, like when you decide if it’s gonna rain based on the clouds, not just what the TV says.
You also gotta make sure these fellas ain’t hurt. You don’t wanna bet on a horse with a lame leg, do ya? So, you gotta check the news, see if they’re healthy and ready to play. That’s like checkin’ the chickens in the coop every mornin’ to make sure they ain’t sick.
And what about draftin’ them for the whole season? That’s like pickin’ your crops for the year. You gotta decide if you want the steady one or the one with the potential to be great. It’s a gamble, just like farmin’. One year you got a bumper crop, the next year the locusts come and eat it all up.
They also talk about somethin’ called PPR projections. I ain’t got a clue what that means, but it sounds fancy. They say it tells you how many points each fella is gonna score. It’s probably like predictin’ how much milk the cow’s gonna give based on how much hay she eats.
In conclusion, pickin’ between Mixon and Gibbs ain’t easy. It’s like choosin’ between a good ol’ workhorse and a speedy new tractor. You gotta weigh the risks and rewards, look at the stats, and listen to your gut. And even then, you might be wrong. But that’s just life, ain’t it? Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Just like plantin’ tomatoes, sometimes they grow big and juicy, sometimes they get eaten by the bugs.
So go on, make your pick. And if it doesn’t work out, well, there’s always next week. Just like there’s always next year’s harvest. Don’t go frettin’ over it too much. It ain’t the end of the world. It’s just football, after all.
And remember, this ain’t financial advice, or plantin’ advice, or nothin’ like that. It’s just some old lady tryin’ to make sense of this here football game. You make your own decisions, ya hear?
Tags: [Fantasy Football, Joe Mixon, Jahmyr Gibbs, NFL, Player Stats, Week 12, Week 13, Draft, Advice, PPR Projections]
